Evil versus Madness

Colin Powell once said, “We have come to live in a society based on insults on lies and on things that just aren’t true.  It creates an environment where deranged people feel empowered.” Though an incredibly loaded statement, I think we can all reflect on 2020 and relate to Powell’s ideology.  Though I do not enjoy speaking about politics, I find it important to discuss the state of the United States’ political system.

I’ve been struggling with my internal dialogue. Ever since the accident, my mind has been run amuck with negative thoughts. I take full responsibilities for the pain I have caused, and am fully aware of the repercussions of my actions. However, self-reflection can often be convoluted by external sources, including manipulating narcissists. I have been struggling with gaslighting and exploitation by influences within my direct family. As this pandemic rages on, the group of people I see is very limited; being influenced by problematic people within my limited group has caused my mental health to plummet. Though you may not be experiencing the same situation that I am, I believe we can all relate to the pain caused by the inhumanity resulting from the tensions of this nation.

Within a year, we have experienced the global pandemic COVID-19, police brutality leading to the resurgence of the Black Lives Matter movement, and a tension filled election. The response of the United States government to all of these events has been abysmal. In this year alone, we have been exposed to how selfish people can truly be. The lack of mask wearing, outward xenophobia and excessive insults thrown between political leaders has been atrocious. My personal opinion is that Donald Trump has nationalized narcissism. He has made us aware of the type of person that personifies evil, and brings on a universal sense of madness and dread.

I’ve been reflecting on what evil truly is, and whether or not a person acts a specific way as a result of nature versus nurture. Do we act the way we do based on how we were raised, or are our actions dictated by free will? I wonder if those who act cruelly are aware of the pain they are causing. In the next few months, I hope to find clarity in my questions. I’ve been plagued by my own identity.  I wonder if I would be considered evil based on my actions. I want to change the future for young individuals by teaching the effects of drinking and driving. I want to teach my children the importance of kindness and equality, and raise human beings that will alter this world for the better.

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